WFAFO Channel 13 Exclusive: Construction Chaos in Sandy Shores

By WFAFO News Team — leadballoon | RP City

If you’ve tried driving through Sandy Shores this week, you’ve probably noticed the same thing we did: cones, confusion, and a man in a safety vest yelling at a backhoe that doesn’t seem to be listening.

City officials claim it’s all part of “necessary infrastructure improvements” ahead of the city’s grand opening — though locals are calling it “a disaster with extra gravel.”

Road Work Ahead (We Think)

According to the Department of Public Works, multiple road sections are being “repaved and realigned for safety.”When WFAFO visited the site, we found one lane completely blocked, a jackhammer left running unattended, and two workers debating lunch options while a third slept in the shade of a “Men Working” sign.

One worker, who asked not to be identified, told WFAFO:

“We’re ahead of schedule, depending on which schedule you mean.”

The Detour Nobody Understands

The newly implemented detour through the old dirt path near the motel has caused more confusion than relief. Traffic cones lead drivers in a loop that somehow ends back where it started. When asked for comment, the foreman pointed at the map, then shrugged and said, “It made sense at the time.”

Residents report multiple near-collisions, one broken fence, and a delivery truck still missing somewhere behind the old airstrip.

City Hall Responds

City Hall insists that everything is “going according to plan,” though nobody seems entirely sure what the plan actually is. In a statement, a city spokesperson said:

“We’re investing in long-term infrastructure stability to ensure a smoother future.”

Moments later, the power went out at the press conference.

Local Reactions

Longtime resident Tater Biscuit told WFAFO he hasn’t seen this much construction since the last time someone hit a water line:

“They’re diggin’ up half the road and still ain’t found nothin’.If they’re lookin’ for treasure, I got a metal detector they can borrow.”

The Final Word

Whether it’s progress or just more potholes in disguise, one thing’s for sure: Sandy Shores is under construction, and everyone’s feeling it — especially the guy whose driveway is currently a trench.

This is Slick Voltage, reporting for WFAFO Channel 13 — reminding you:

You watch it happen. We warn you after.