WFAFO Channel 13: The Legend of Tater Biscuit The Man Who “Borrowed” a Patrol Car and Never Gave It Back

By Slick — November 12, 2025 - WFAFO Channel 13 | leadballoon.gg

SANDY SHORES, SA — Every town’s got a story that blurs the line between law and legend. For Sandy Shores, that story starts with one man, one stolen car, and thirty years of pure stubbornness.

Meet Tater Biscuit — local mechanic, moonshine runner, motel owner, self-proclaimed “community enforcer,” and the only man in Blaine County who’s been driving a police cruiser longer than the Sheriff’s Department itself.

“He Stole It Fair and Square”

According to locals, the story goes like this: Sometime back in the mid 90s, a teenage Tater “borrowed” an old 1983 Paleto Bay Sheriff’s patrol car for a joyride. Only problem? He never brought it back.

Over the years, the department tried to recover it — but every time, Tater either outran the deputies or convinced them it was his assigned unit. Eventually, the car got removed from inventory, the paperwork vanished, and the legend stuck.

One old deputy told WFAFO,

“At some point, we all just accepted it. He wasn’t causing trouble — hell, he was solving it half the time. So we figured, let him keep it.”

An “Unofficial” Deputy

These days, Tater still cruises around Sandy Shores in that same black-and-white relic, lights still working, radio still squawking to no one. The Sheriff’s Department doesn’t officially acknowledge him, but most of the younger deputies wave when they pass.

Locals call him the ‘unofficial deputy’ — a one-man patrol who’ll stop a fight at the bar, change your flat tire, or arrest you with a pair of zip ties if you’re dumb enough to run.

“Ain’t no paycheck in it,” Tater told WFAFO as he put a dip in. “I just keep the peace, same as anybody would — ‘cept I’ve got the better car.”

A Relic That Still Runs

The car itself — a beat-up 1983 Impaler LX with faded decals and a cracked lightbar — is as much a character as the man behind the wheel. Locals say the thing runs on pure spite and duct tape. Tater claims he’s “rebuilt it more times than he’s changed his socks.”

Despite its age, “Old Reliable” still prowls the county roads almost every night, siren off, spotlight on, and Tater behind the wheel with a thermos of coffee and a CB radio that only plays classic rock.

The Final Word

In most towns, a guy driving a stolen police car for thirty years would end up in cuffs. In Sandy Shores, he ends up in local history.

Tater Biscuit isn’t a real deputy — but after decades of keeping the peace, pulling folks out of ditches, and running off troublemakers, he’s earned something better: respect.

Out here, that’s all the badge you need.

Reporting live from the backroads of Blaine County — this is WFAFO Channel 13.